Promises
If you have talked to me at all in the last week or so, I have made a few references to this awe-inspiring and uplifting book I just finished reading. The book is called "Girl, Wash Your Face" by Rachel Hollis. Kim, I owe you a drink for this recommendation! If you are able, I suggest you stop reading this blog post right now and go secure yourself a copy!
One of my favorite take-aways from Hollis' book was that I needed to stop breaking promises to myself. This idea goes hand-in-hand with self-care, but a lot of times it is the promises we break to ourselves that enable us to put ourselves on the back burner. When that happens, well, refer to my post from Sunday!
I have broken a lot of promises to myself over the years. A LOT. Some of them were small, some of them were pretty big. But seriously, it is time to stop.
I am going to be the President of the United States- Okay, I was like five. I honestly believed that someday I would become the President. I mean how hard could it REALLY be? (Insert eye roll.)
I am going to save myself for marriage- You might be thinking "WHOA, slow down, we're just getting to know eachother!" But this was a huge promise that I broke to myself, and it was something that led to more self-destruction than I realized until recently. This broken promise is especially hard for me to acknowledge, because I know that if I wouldn't have broken it, I wouldn't have the amazing 11-year-old boy that I have today. This broken promise is one I have to embrace and understand that God had a purpose for that time in my life.
I am going to go to college right out of high school to become a lawyer- After I had my son I basically gave up on the idea of going to a 4-year college. I entered into a phase of my life where I didn't feel like I really "belonged" anywhere. So I ditched my dreams of college and a career and tried to find an easier way out.
I am going to learn a new language- This is a promise I have been breaking over and over again since 6th grade. Just imagine, what if I would have actually stuck with this promise to myself? I would be a leader in international business! Ha- maybe not, but I would be fluent in another language which has always been something I have wanted to be.
I am going to be "clean"- Don't worry, I am not talking about showering here. I have not broken that promise, guys. What I mean is, I made a commitment a few years ago to eat clean and to make my own cleaning products/household products in an effort to be more healthy. This was sparked by a couple of things. First, I had taken a few classes in college relating to the foods we put in our bodies and how GROSS some of it really is. I started wondering if the foods I put in mine had an effect on how my Crohn's disease affected my life. Second, in 2014 my grandma was diagnosed with cancer. Our family immersed ourselves in research about healthy living, and the chemicals I was exposing to my family through cleaning products, household items, and highly processed food made me feel sick. Remember, I am a highly anxious person!
I am going to start a blog (said me, 1 year ago)- self-explanatory
I am going to start a business This has always sounded awesome. I mean, all those people on HGTV who run their businesses remotely from the Caribbean? Sign me up!
Here's the thing. All of those promises I laid out? I broke them all. They were ideas, hopes, and dreams that were important to me, and I let them slip away. Here are the main reasons I gave up on myself:
I was not worthy of making good on that promise.
It would be too hard to make good on that promise.
I don't have time to make good on that promise.
I don't have the resources to make good on that promise
The commonality between all of those reasons? They were MY perceptions. They were MY inner voice telling me I was not capable. Nobody in my circle ever told me I couldn't achieve something. I have the most supportive family a girl could ask for. I would not be where I am today if it were not for the amazing men and women that make up my village. All of the reasons that I broke promises to myself were based on the fact that I believed I was not good enough, strong enough, or capable of achieving my dreams. Is that what I want my children to see and remember about me? Do I want them to see me as someone who breaks promises to themselves because it gets too hard? Would I want them to break promises to themselves? NO!
So here I am, declaring it to the blogging world... or, at this point, probably just my mom, my dad, my mother-in-law, my husband, and some of my closest friends, (thanks, guys!) I am making two promises right here and right now.
I promise I am going to continue this blog every week on Wednesdays and Sundays for 6 months. Even if I feel like what I am writing about is silly, even if I feel like I don't have time, even if I feel like it is becoming too hard. I can do anything for 6 months.
I promise I am going to learn Spanish. This one sounds really broad. I know, it is an entire language. Rome wasn't built in a day and my Spanish won't be either. But I can certainly put 10 minutes of effort into it every day. I can sacrifice 10 minutes a day to achieve something I have wanted to for years. (Mer, Marisa, Brooke- today El Maguey, tomorrow Mexico!)
Anyone who held on long enough to read this entire blog post is now holding me accountable for the promises I just made. That is a pretty big commitment! But you know what? If I am not willing to keep promises to myself, what does that say about me as a person? If I am not able to keep promises to myself, what does that say about my feeling of self-worth? I 100% believe I can make good on these promises.
If you have something you have been itching to do or to achieve, grab yourself an accountability partner. A family member, a friend, a neighbor, the checker at the grocery store, whoever you feel will encourage you and cheer you on. La vida es mejor cuando lo hacemos juntos.
